Schedule of Events

I remember the moment that the hallway revealed itself to me. I was already walking through it, but all of a sudden, I was aware of my place and understood that there was work to be done. Each section of this essay covers a different year from the recent past, imaged as individual doors in a hallway. The events that I cover in this work may include memories, the biggest news accounts, or stories representing a certain year that deserve more coverage. For me it was easy to imagine the unknown or inevitable as it looms behind a closed door; a door when opened may feel either completely unexpected or predictable in hindsight. With Doors In A Hallway, I expand, reflect, and contemplate current events. With poetry as a buffer for each section, I explore the intangible moments of the recent past. This mix of creative work with nonfiction, research-based work, hopefully, will reflect back to us the ghosts that haunt our society. I found that the upsetting actions of humanity cause reactions from the other side; it is in these reactions that truth and resolution may be hiding. All I could do with my findings is splay them out. I’d like to know if what I found gives people hope or heightens anxieties surrounding these topics. Either way, both are explored and both exist in tandem; hope and hopelessness; in the same way we all exist in the hallway together – for better or for worse.

The art of poetry has recently resurfaced due to the growing popularity of contemporary poets such as Inaugural poet Amanda Gorman. Poetry not only allows people to write without constraint but inspires them to lead with their voices, freeing the heart and mind from silence while nurturing their creative expression. It is simultaneously a personal and public art as we transfer our most intimate emotions, thoughts, and experiences onto the page. With technology increasing accessibility to writing, however, oftentimes people forget the history and legacies intertwined with the art. By studying poetry, we harvest inspiration both from within and outside of ourselves, therefore tying us to the pioneer poets who came before. My project explores this personal-public dynamic, acting as an homage to three Mexican poets I identify with: Sor Juana, Rodolfo Gonzales, and Ana Castillo. In this project, I explore the social issues of their time that impacted their writing, as well as the aspects of their identities that compare and contrast with my own. 
“My Pen, My World” honors the past as a foundation of what poetry has always been: an outlet for the voices that are often silenced or oppressed as well as a method of regaining power. It provides what artists deem essential both during and after life: a form of expression, a free voice, and, above all, a legacy. 

Recently, I have been thinking about the connection between familial history and personal identity. As I’ve grown older, my mother has shared parts of her younger self with me through harrowing stories of her child and young adulthood. 
Research has been done within the last 20 years on the potential of epigenetic marks, or chemical changes to one’s genes due to trauma. Though the research is thus far inconclusive, the attention paid to this topic shows the emotional relevance it carries for many. This brings up the distinction between tangible facts and emotional and spiritual truth. While studying creative nonfiction under Dr. Lyons, I have learned that both forms of truth are of equal value in our stories and our lives. Because much of creative nonfiction is based in memory, authors and readers must accept that any given recollection may be flawed in terms of tangible truth, but represents how a particular event felt to the person who experienced it.
For my project, I interviewed my mother, drawing from a list of planned research questions, which I used only as guideposts for the interview. Additionally, I performed research on trauma, which is defined as a separation from the self. Trauma, I learned, is stored in our bodies; our emotional reactions, our ability to interact with others, and even our genes, all of which can be passed down through generations. I wrote a series of creative nonfiction essays combining my mother’s interviews with my research on epigenetics and the psychology of trauma.

Modern Tolerances is a collection of poetry and creative nonfiction that explores the interplay between Christianity and socioeconomic class in American culture. Using my upbringing as a lens, I reveal how money (or the lack thereof) can influence your conception of God. Growing up, Christian faith was the only comfort in the midst of everyday financial instability; however, as I got older, my perception of God became more cynical as my day-to-day reality became incongruent with my beliefs. Inspired by Richard Wright’s accomplishments in his autobiography, Black Boy, this collection strives to surpass critique, and truthfully portray the human experience within it. Employing tasteful measures of humor and irony, I share my journey through lower-class Christianity, from the times living in a hotel, to a youth group pool party at a mansion, to my eventual departure from faith all together.

Creative endeavors, once completed, may seem like an effortless process of artistic inspiration and polished execution. However, as is obvious to anyone who has ever undertaken such an endeavor, there are hidden structures that support and enable the artistic process. The meticulous, granular work of planning and preparation is rendered invisible in order to maintain the illusion of artistic purity, but I believe there is value in examining these structures themselves. In “Structures of Creativity”, I explore the ins and outs of the creative process, using my experiences as a student stage manager and choreographer as the framework. Drawing inspiration from Pixar co-founder Ed Catmull’s Creativity, Inc. and choreographer Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life, this project is a reflection on my own role in the creative domains that I inhabit.